Thursday, March 3, 2011

Your courage asks me what I am afraid of, Your courage asks me what I am made of...

Sara Groves - I Saw What I Saw

This song was posted by a close friend of mine on facebook today. I listened to it over and over again for about 40 minutes. I cried every time I listened to it. It spoke so deeply to me. This line, your courage asks me what I am afraid of, spoke right to my core. I hear that line and I think of the dreams I feel God has put in my heart and I'm unsure why so many of them remain un-pursued. What is it that holds us back from going after what our heart truly wants? Is it fear of rejection? Is it fear of failure? Is it fear of not being enough? I think more than anything it's the fear of not being enough or being too much of myself and not enough of God. Do I really have what it takes to pursue what God calls me to do? Am I going to have to go on this journey by myself? Where do I even begin?

There are so many questions that I ask myself that just hold me back. These aren't even questions that necessarily need answers. They are mostly questions that I shouldn't listen to. These are the moments when I will choose to tell my brain that it doesn't know what's best for me. I mean, what if I'm not enough? Does that question really need to be answered? At least, does it need to be answered before I begin any kind of journey that leads me to pursue my dreams?

These are the moments that I believe that God says, we have to step out in faith. Follow his leadership and know that each step of the way he will be by  my side moving me forward.

God,

It frightens me to pursue my dreams. I don't know where to start. I am so afraid that I'm going to do it all wrong. I've stopped taking risks in my life. I have been keeping myself safe instead of pursuing a life of truly living. Teach me to love more than I've ever loved and show me my true self so I know the dreams you've placed in my heart. Show me the risks I need to start taking so I can be who you've called me to be. I pray that your holy spirit will fill me with your qualities that I need. Love, patience, kindness, the things that I struggle with. Show me who you want me to be so I can love and be kind to those that I've been hurtful to. I pray that you forgive me for having a angry heart and melt it so that I am loving to those I come in contact with. Show me the choices I need to make to become the person you want me to be. What choices do you want me to make?

Please be with those I love and those I don't know. I pray that your love will be known by all the people that hate you or don't want anything to do with you. Please show them your love. Help me to show them your love.

I love you,

Rachel
Posted by at

3 comments:

  1. UnknownMarch 4, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    For me personally, I have to have the answers to the questions you ask. It is the only way I can work my way past them and understand my thinking and behavior. With that, comes the ability to change. "What if I am not enough?" you ask.What makes you think you are not enough and where does that come from? That is a different question with a different answer.Thank you for your insight! Loved your post....makes me think about how I can be a more fruitful person.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownMarch 5, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMarch 5, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    Remember that God has given us permission. He has said we are enough. If we don't feel like we are enough, then we are putting something above Him. I am finding lately that it's very freeing to just submit to what God has said about me. I'm in no position to argue.

    I love you! And you definitely do not have to do this alone!

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)